justsoumakothings:

so heres what happened. I messed up and deleted the last part but its still here. you can read the full thing on  ao3. its better organized there. but this is everything from the last time. If youre just now finding this my blog is new and its just a couple scrolls to find the first part. The story includes a soumako date and confession.

---

Sousuke splashed water in his face, grabbing his towel and wiping off the excess water. He blinked as he stared in the mirror. He couldn’t believe that this was even happening. Going to the Amusement park with Makoto…he had honestly planned on giving the tickets away to someone else but the perfect opportunity had presented to himself. Soon enough, his phone vibrated to assure him that today was, in fact, a reality.

Makoto: Good Morning! Are you still picking me up?

Sousuke: Yes. I’ll be there in about an hour.

Makoto: okay, no rush! : )

Sousuke placed his phone back in his pocket and smiled a bit. Makoto was always so energetic in his texts and it reflected his personality. He would never be caught sending anything less than a small emoticon, but even those were rare.

He walked back to his room and stood in front of his drawers. Placing his hand on chin, he thought of what he should wear. He hadn’t really gone out in a while….just what was appropriate for a date to the amusement park.

Ten minutes later, he opened his drawers and settled on a grey long sleeve shirt, jeans, and his black leather jacket. He rolled up the bottoms of his jeans and put on his black tennis shoes. Once he finished, he took another look in the mirror. He smiled to himself. For not going out in a while, he didn’t seem too shabby.

Although, he had to remind himself that it wasn’t a date. He didn’t need to look good for Makoto but he also didn’t want to be the one who showed up looking a like a bum. Did he need cologne? No, that was way too much. He had taken a shower the night before.

Before he left, he made sure that he had the tickets and his wallet. He messaged Makoto that he was on his way and headed out the door.

Makoto brushed his teeth after he messaged Sousuke. Surprisingly, his excitement managed to quell his nerves a bit. Not only was it going to be his first time going to an amusement park in a while, but it was also going to be the first time he was going with Sousuke. Actually, they never really did much other than dinner before Makoto went off to college so this change of pace was new to him.

Once he washed up, he went and changed into his clothes. Putting on a plaid, red sleeve shirt, which he rolled up to his elbow. For pants, he just wore blue jeans with tennis shoes. He flopped down on his bed and looked at his phone, smiling when Sousuke said that he was on his way. As he switched his phone off, he brought to his mouth, a smile still on his face. Of course, he was aware it wasn’t a date but he felt special that the two of them were going together.

He heard a meow and then seconds later a cat jumped on his bed. Somehow, the twins had managed to get his parents to budge to buy a cat. It was a white with orange cats but they named it Kuro. He had no idea why. However, she was sweet and it was to please her. Makoto sat up and she climbed in his lap. The time flew by as he played with her and had the tv as background noise. Before he knew it, there was a knock on his door.

“A-ah, coming!”,He gently placed the cat back on his bed and made sure he had all of his stuff.

He ran to the door and opened it with a smile,”Hey Sousuke.”

“Hey Makoto, you ready?”, Sousuke said with a smile.

That smile of his always made Makoto’s heart skip a beat. He felt like it only belonged him because Sousuke rarely smiled for anyone. It could just be because they were closer than most though, he shouldn’t take it as anything more than that. This was just two friends going on a trip.

“Yea I am, thanks for picking me up,”he said as he walked out and shut the door.

Sousuke shook his head,”no problem, your house isn’t too far from fine.”

---

In order to get to the place, they had to take the train for about 45 minutes. Since it was a saturday, they were forced to stand, holding the handles. They were both standing next to each other but at least the train wasn’t too full. It also wasn’t much compared to their training.

Sousuke tried his best attempt at a conversation to try and make the time go faster. “How has your time back been so far?”, that seemed like a reasonable question to ask. He looked as Makoto responded,”its been great, the twins got a cat while I was a gone, im still unsure how they bribed my parents. Thats not even the best part, the cat is white and orange but they named it Kuro.”, he finished off with a chuckle.

Sousuke raised one eyebrow,”Kuro? That’s pretty odd…maybe they just liked the name. But at least you’re enjoying your time, I hope I didn’t take time from hanging out with your family.”

Makoto shook his head in disagreement,”the twins had some club and my parents had work today, I would have been left alone at the house, so thank you for this. Nagisa and the rest want to wait till I come back with Haru to do something like a dinner.”

Sousuke bounced off of that,”im sure they were excited to see you though and were glad you’re here. I am too. Glad you come back.” Sousuke caught himself nearing dangerous territory and he was glad he could stare at the window, rather than facing the embarrassment of his statement while looking into Makoto’s eyes.

Makoto wasn’t prepared for that at all and a slight blush crept on his face,”I’m glad I could see you too. Rather than through just the phone. I’m still getting used to being away from home. Its nice to see familiar faces.” One of those familiar faces being Sousuke. He looked down, the conversation staying silent, but the air wasn’t awkward. Makoto felt nice being close to Sousuke and his presence soothed him.

Suddenly, the train made quite an abrupt stop, causing Makoto to lose his balance because he was spacing out. However, Sousuke had wrapped one hand around his waist to support him,”are you okay?”, he asked. Makoto sprung back up quickly, a smile on his face,”a-ah yeah, I spaced out” Sousuke just looked at him then responded,”be more careful.”

Makoto’s hand tightened on the handle as he looked down. He wish he could place his hand on his beating heart to get it to calm down but that would be way too obvious. The touch of his hand around his waist did more than what Makoto seemed it would do….was he falling too hard for the man?

Sousuke was thinking the same thing. After Makoto moved away from him, there was a part in his heart that regretted it. A part of his heart that wished he could hold onto Makoto longer. He also didn’t think that he had fallen that hard for the other man but the heart never lies.  

Eventually, they arrived at their destination. Makoto had attempted more small talk, asking about how Sousuke was, before Sousuke reprimanded him,”I said there’s no worrying today and im fine, so dont think about things like that.” It wasn’t helpful at in trying keep Makoto from falling even more. People had worried about him, of course, but never in the way Sousuke had.

Makoto was so used to being the protector that being the protected was a weird, yet very comforting feeling. It made his heart warm that there was a person out there that they worried so much about how he was. His friends worried, of course. However, Makoto was very good at hiding his feelings. It was only Haru that could usually tell something was up but he didn’t try to do that too much. Haru had other things to worry about, especially with Ikuya.

Makoto was snapped out of his thoughts walking out of the train. Sousuke had hit him on the head,”oi, did you listen to what I say?” Makoto looked at him in surprise,”ah-um I-”, he stopped speaking as Sousuke placed a finger on his forehead,”each time it seems like you’re thinking about something troubling I’ll do that, got it?” Makoto could only nod his head in response.

Sousuke knew Makoto was probably worrying about that Ikuya situation too much and it kind of frustrated him. The only thing Makoto should be thinking about was the park and him, anything that wasn’t sad or would make him worry again. This was why he hit him. Once Makoto agreed to his statement,Sousuke smiled as he pulled away,”now come on, these rides will make you forget about all of that.”

“Hmmm, what ride do you want try to first,”Sousuke said as he looked down at the map unfolded in front of him. Makoto looked and answered,”I feel like we shouldn’t just start off with a rollercoaster, maybe something lighter, like the teacups.”  “Makoto I dont know what your memory of teacups were but all I remember is endless smooshing.”, Sousuke said, which led Makoto to chuckle.

“I was always the tallest so I was the one doing the smooshing, ah then maybe the pirate’s ship?”, he suggested. Sousuke smiled,”of course you were and yea lets go.”

The pair walked and talked, Sousuke starting it off,”I really haven’t been here in a while. I didn’t have much time when my swimming took off.”

“Ah same here, maybe more because of the twins, but swimming became our main focus.I always loved it though.”, Makoto said, his eyes scanning the tons of smiles and laughter around him. It was a nice change of atmosphere.

The place wasn’t that far but they were interrupted before they could continue by one of the staff that worked there, a camera in his hand,”feel free to get your picture taken, if you feel like you want at the end of the day you just need a ticket!” They decided there was no harm in just taking and agreed.

The photographer was about to take it but put her camera down,”oh get closer closer, you two must at least be friends, black hair place your hand around his shoulder.”

Sousuke gulped but did just that. This was…already alot of physical contact he didn’t expect to have with Makoto that day.

“1..2..3..smile!~”

Sousuke managed to smile and Makoto did as well, putting a peace sign in the air. The lady gave them their ticket, thanking them, and then moved onto her next victims.

“That was unexpected”, Sousuke said. Makoto smiled,”it was but maybe we do need a photo. I’d like to remember this day.” Sousuke’s heart skipped a beat at the simple words that came out of Makoto’s mouth. He really shouldn’t be this but, oh God , he was

---

The day was going along pretty well. They started off with Pirate’s Ship and gradually upped the level with each ride.

During the late afternoon, the two of them got hungry and were going to search for somewhere to eat. However, before they did, they walked past a carnival area of the park. A guy managed to catch their attention,”just 25 cents each! If you’re lucky, then you can get a large plush, just land the quarter on one of the plates, easy right?”. It wasn’t in the slightest. That’s how those games worked.

Sousuke was just one of the few people who actually did know how to play this game. He walked up and digged in his pocket,”just a quarter right?”, and the guy nodded. Makoto looked at him with wide eyes,”you have this aura of confidence, have you done this before.” Sousuke smirked,”just start thinking of which plushie you want.”

Before Makoto could comment, Sousuke gracefully threw the quarter. Makoto watch with anticipation as the quarter kept rolling around until it finally settled down, still in the plate. The person working there had a shock on their face, but it quickly turned into a chuckle,”well young man, its not everyday I see this, thank you! Please choose a plushie of your liking”, he said as he pointed up.

Makoto looked at Sousuke, gesturing him to look at it. His heart was beating as he stared at the plushies. This is definitely something people do on date rights? Makoto felt spoiled. Again, another feeling he wasn’t used…not until he met Sousuke. His eyes locked onto an orca whale and he pointed,”that one.”

Once he got the very large plush, he hugged it, almost covering his face. Sousuke chuckled,”it fits you.” Makoto smiled,”thanks Sousuke, I guess it’ll be a nice addition to my dorm.” Sousuke heart skipped a beat and how happy winning that seemed to make Makoto. He wasn’t used to this feeling, wanting to spoil someone, wanting to see them smile. It was all so new.

The two stopped by a buffet place because they couldn’t decide on any specific food.

“What did you want to do after we eat?”, Sousuke asked, taking a bite of his chicken curry.

“Would it be a great idea to get on more rides after we eat? Maybe we could try something light like the carousel or the ferris wheel to pass the time”, Makoto answered but also quickly realized what he said. If they did that….this would really sound like they went on a date. He had been having too much fun that he forgot that were just two friends at an amusement together. Everything just felt so natural.

Sousuke almost choked on his food at the mention of the ferris wheel but responded,”y-yea, I think that would be nice, we could let our food settle and enjoy the view”

“Yea yea, enjoy the view. That would be nice. I think we would be able to see the ocean.”, Makoto, who was just as nervous, said.

The two of them were both hopeless when it came to love. These two who had always been so focused on swimming and caring about other people for a better part of their lives. A whale shark and a whale. An unlikely pair that came together to compliment one another in ways neither of them would ever fathom. This pair definitely needed a bit of courage and a push from the gods.

---

They were almost to the front of the line. To pass the time, they played some games, one of which was 21 questions, which resulted into them learning things about each other. Like how Sousuke wasn’t a morning person or Makoto loved cats but was quite scared of dogs. Through this, for both of them, it felt like they had gotten close to each other.

When they got into car for the ferris wheel, it rocked a bit due to both of their heavy size and weight. They chuckled as they each sat on one side. Makoto placed his plushie down on one side of the seat and scooted closer to the window.

The two of them were silent until they got higher, Makoto speaking,”wow, you’re beginning to see the whole park.” Sousuke stared out and replied,”ah you can, it seems so small now.” Makoto smiled and spoke as a thought came to mind,”isn’t that how the world is, you think its so big but in reality everything is so small.”

Sousuke thought about what he said for a minute,”you’re right. Also I think they have a parade towards when it hits nightfall when you want to stick around, I saw it on the map.”

Makoto turned his head to look at Sousuke and smiled,”yea, that’d be great! It’d be a nice way to end the night. Ah-thank you by the way, I did technically get in free.” Sousuke shook his head with a smile,”don’t worry about it, I had a pretty good time, thank you for coming on such a short notice.”

Makoto spoke,”oh its fine, besides we haven’t really hung out with each other like this, its a nice change of pace”

“I guess this our first time actually hanging out huh? Im glad we could. I never even thought we would be friends.”, Sousuke wasn’t smiling, but his face was still soft. He wondered what type of conversation this would lead to and he was nervous.

Makoto looked down,”I never thought I’d worry about you as much as I did. Its in my nature I guess but it just felt different with you.” Oh no. Why did he have to say it like that. He never thought that they would become this close, he only saw Sousuke as someone in need help, not a potential friend.

It was something about being locked up in the car of the ferris wheel, the only thing holding them up was pieces of metal that everyone trusted that could fall down at any minute, ultimately leading to their death. Maybe it wasn’t that it was just the ferris wheel that made everyone confess but the thought of realizing that world around you actually isn’t that big. You worry about what so many people might think you forget you’re just one speck of sand out of millions. That realizing things like this makes people take a chance at confessing their love. And it was exactly what was going to happen in just a few moments to the pair of them.

Sousuke continued,“When we first met, I may have been a little standoff-ish-”, Makoto interrupted with a chuckle,”a little?”, which made Sousuke smile,”maybe alot.”

“I realize I probably overstepped my boundaries I bit but…I don’t know. Its like seeing a kitten in a box. Its not yours, you can leave it alone, you’ve never even met it, but yet you’re still pulled to want to help them.”, Makoto said.

Sousuke let out a small laugh,“I don’t know if I should feel complimented but yes. I didn’t know who you were and I kind of associated you with the people who took Rin away from me. Well, he wasn’t mine but, it felt like he was apart of your team, despite being on a completely different team and after I had tried so hard to catchup with him…everything just went downhill after that. I started to shut people off, even Rin.I’m lucky you’re so stubborn, otherwise I might not be here today,”Sousuke finished, smiling at Makoto.

Makoto’s heart started beating after Sousuke said something like that. He really didn’t think he was that special to Sousuke but his words were making him think otherwise. However, he wasn’t aware this much about how Sousuke was feeling. There was a sort of emptiness, loneliness in his words. Did he feel alone? Anyone would after feeling like they don’t have a place to belong to. Being on a team doesn’t necessarily come along with this feeling and it may have been a struggle for Sousuke.

Makoto looked down and spoke,“When I first saw you swim…you were amazing. I was captivated and I figured it was no wonder you were great friends with Rin. But after the drama and your shoulder I was just attracted to you. A large protective aura came over me for some reason. And even now with you, im experiencing different….feelings I guess one would say. But theyre good. Theyre just so foreign to me. I don’t quite know what to do with them yet.”

Was Makoto really being this bold? It was just everything about the moment that screamed even if he didn’t express his feelings now he’d ignore them, throw them under the bus, pretend they weren’t they for years on end. It was better to fall now then to get even higher and fall later. At least, thats how his mind was rationalizing the whole situation.

Something came down on Makoto’s head, but it was gentle. He looked up to see Sousuke smiling,”I would bonk your head but its my fault you put on that face. Its weird but I always want to see your smile, I feel like its what you deserve.” Makoto blushed and his eyes looked down,”saying embarrassing stuff like that…” Sousuke chuckled as he removed his hand,”you’re cute Makoto.”

Makoto only blushed more and looked up, trying to refute his statement,”am not.”

“You kind of are”, Sousuke said.

Makoto stood up abruptly,”HeY-ouch!”, he had forgotten that were both too tall to stand up straight and hit his head. He sat back down and looked at a laughing Sousuke,”Sousuke,this is your fault you know,”he whined,although, for a split second, Makoto was glad he made a fool of himself. Hearing Sousuke laugh like that felt so good to his ears and he wished he had more that throughout the day.

“But here”, Sousuke calmed down and grabbed Makoto’s wrists, removing them from his head. He went to go check his head, since the hit seemed pretty hard,“You’re good, just dont do that again”, he said as he scanned his head. “why…”,Makoto mumbled.

“Huh?”, commented Sousuke as he pulled his head away, not even realizing his hands were still on Makoto’s wrist.

Makoto’s blush crept on his face again,not being handle the gaze of Sousuke’s eyes,”why do you make me feel so safe”,Makoto managed to breath out in a low voice, his racing heart stopping him from speaking any higher.

That caught Sousuke off guard. He made Makoto feel safe? Well, that’s because he wanted too. He wanted to protect his smile, his heart, everything . Sousuke only answered with a question of his own,”why do you make me want to protect you so much?”

Makoto’s hands balled up into a fist,”why…why is my heart beating so fast?”

“Why is mine beating fast also?”, Sousuke questioned.

“Why are we speaking in questions?”, Makoto asked as he finally looked at Sousuke.

Sousuke smiled and looked up,”I dont know, why are we?”

Makoto didn’t have an answer so Sousuke, taking a bullet, spoke,”why…do I want to kiss you right now?”

Makoto was flustered, his face getting redder, but that was only cuter to Sousuke. This was definitely happening, right? Sousuke kind of implied that he would want to kiss Makoto.He spoke even though his nerves skyrocketed,”w-why…would I ever say no?”

Sousuke slowly let go of Makoto’s hands and placed them on his face, still staring at Makoto. He was going to ask if Makoto was sure that he wanted this but his answer was proven by his actions. Makoto had closed his eyes and Sousuke took it as yes. He leaned slowly and didn’t stop until their lips were pressed together.

Is this what a real kiss feels like? Thought the both of them. Also, for both, it was their first time kissing. Everything was new to them. It felt so soft, yet so good.

They stayed like that for about 30 seconds until Sousuke pulled away, his face probably a red mess just like Makoto’s. He placed his hands on his lap and looked down, an awkward silence between them.

“Mako-”

“Sous-”

They both spoke at the same time but stopped.

Sousuke gave into the silence and took a deep breath,”Makoto…as you can most likely tell..I have feelings for you.” His heart was threatening to jump out of his chest. What if everything just went wrong?

Makoto’s heart almost stopped at Sousuke’s words. “U-um…so do I…”

Awkward Silence. Again.

However, Sousuke broke it a minute later,”does this…mean..”

Makoto looked up at him and got where he was going,”I mean..if you want…”

Sousuke smiled and let out a nervous laugh,”I bet we both look stupid now.”

Makoto smiled as the tension died down a bit,”no can see us though. Only we’ll know.”

Before they could continue, it stopped and the door opened. They had completely lost track of time and almost forgot that they were even in a ferris wheel.

Sousuke got out first and offered his hand to help Makoto before the person in charge could. Makoto took it, a smile on his face, his other hand holding the plushie.

After that, Sousuke never let go of his hand as they exited and spoke,”should we go find a spot for the parade?”.he asked. Makoto’s heart was racing but he held his tighter,”yes, lets go do that.”

The two of them were happy. A happy that wasn’t just because you won a game or your team won the swimming competition. It was a different kind of happiness, a content happiness. A happiness that only belonged to them and that they could only feel with each other. A happiness that made both of their faces light up with bright smiles.

A happiness that no one else could make them feel.

justsoumakothings:

Makoto: can you give me a hand?

Sousuke, holding Makoto’s hand: here

Makoto, blushing: n-no not that type of hand

Sousuke, grabbing Makoto’s other hand: then my right one?

Makoto, even redder: I give up…

nebet-ren:

actualanimevillain:

sometimes you say or do bad things while you’re in an awful mental place. sometimes you say things that are rude or uncalled for or manipulative. and i’m not going to hold that against you. mental illness is hard, and no one is perfect. but once you’re through that episode, you need to take steps to make amends. you need to apologize.

“i couldn’t help it, i was having a bad episode” is a justification, not an apology.

“i’m so fucking sorry, i fucked up, i don’t deserve to live, i should stop talking to anyone ever, i should die” is a second breakdown and a guilt trip. it is not an apology.

when you apologize, the focus should be on the person you hurt. “i’m sorry. i did something that was hurtful to you. even if i was having a rough time, you didn’t deserve to hear that,” is a better apology. if it was a small thing, you can leave it at that.

if you caused significant distress to the other person, this is a good time to talk about how you can minimize damage in the future. and again, even if it is tempting to say you should self-isolate and/or die, that is not a helpful suggestion. it will result in the person you’re talking to trying to talk you out of doing that, which makes your guilt the focus of the conversation instead of their hurt.

you deserve friendship, and you deserve support. but a supportive friend is not an emotional punching bag, and mental illness does not absolve you of responsibility for your actions. what you say during a mental breakdown doesn’t define you. how you deal with the aftermath though, says a lot.

This is the most carefully-nuanced discussion of this I think I have ever seen. Thank you for writing this.

221cbakerstreet:

robtherich:

The best apology is changed behavior

the only real apology is changed behavior. If you apologize and continue to do the same thing again that apology was worthless.

supernovawriting:

herofics:

douchebag-t-rex:

purgethebots:

purgethebots:

Tumblr is in an epidemic. The porn bot apocalypse is here. And it’s really, really, really, really, really annoying. Even more annoying than me saying really five times in a row because let’s face it:

• To check more video, clcik here.
• Click here to find onenight stands
• For more more private stuff, come here.
• Looking for fun? Join me here.
• Howdy guy, more private stuff here.
• Howdy bro, my profile here.

Lately the probability of finding a comment like this in the notes has gone up from 100% to a 10000% and it’s seriously impacting our user experience.

I have been here since 2010, @staff. Started out as wolf blog and in 2012 I used to share my poetry and made eight super good friends to which I am still talking today! But now what?

It’s pretty safe to say that there are a number of bot networks active on this website. The one asking for bitcoin and the aforementioned ‘looking for fun’ one for example. The bots follow a pattern and because it’s a network it should be easy to roll up.

I know we always point at @staff to fix this, but honestly, it’s not an easy fix. I know many people block bots, but do we also report and flag them? How does staff respond to flags?

Anyway, here is what I and 10,000 other people who started following this blog over the last 24 hours propose:

We purge the bots. The porn bots. All of them. This is going to be one big COORDINATED effort to destroy the bots!

For one month we are going to report and flag those blogs, and make sure we cut their profits so they don’t make enough money to support their bot network.

It’s very important that we do this as a community. This is a movement. Everyone has to join so we can limit the outcome of this battle to only two possibilities:

1. We win this battle
2. @staff really doesn’t give a shit

Let’s go get them! Join the army @purgethebots

I would like to thank everyone for joining our army and turning on post notifications.  

Here is how we proceed:

Our first objective is to purge the influx of ‘want to have fun?’ bots in the comments. Tumblr’s ToS allows porn blogs, so we don’t flag bot blogs for ‘sensitive content’, but rather for spam. Because that is exactly what they are doing: spamming the comments with unsafe links to shady websites.

We have two types of warriors in our army. Mobile and desktop users.

Mobile users:
If you are on mobile, your options are limited. You can only report comments.

1.  Click on notes
2.  Press or tap a bot comment
3.  Select “Report”
4.  Choose “Block" 

Your task is to report as many bot comments as possible and make a statement to @support​ and @staff​.

Desktop users:

If you’re on desktop, your mission is to flag porn bot accounts. 

1. Click on “Notes" 
2. Click on the avatar of the bot blog 
3. Tap the pawn/human icon
   report > report spam > Flag & Block 

Starting August 1, a new list of ~200 post links divided by zodiac signs will be posted everyday. In order to make things a tad more entertaining, I will give the operations silly or epic titles.

Join us @purgethebots , turn on post notifications so we can coordinate our first attack and prepare yourself for operation:

BE GONE, B O T 

I really feel like im a part of something here

Feel free to join in, let’s do something about the bots

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m sick of porn bots. Let’s purge them.

-Mod Kurumu

bidoof:

tumblr “a massive porn botnet has visibly propagated itself across nearly every post with over 1,000 notes for the past four weeks on a site whose tos allows 13 year olds to use it and its moderators are either powerless to do anything about it or simply don’t care” dot com